I have been trying to decide if I should write this post. I've been thinking about it for a couple of weeks I'm fearful of backlash but I also feel that it's a story that needs to be told. I think there are others out there who have felt what I'm feeling and others who will probably just think that I'm ridiculous!
Two weeks ago we broke off an unhealthy relationship. Two weeks ago we said goodbye to one of our four-legged babies, Lucy. Many people knew that we've been dealing with cat drama for quite sometime and two weeks ago we finally hit our breaking point.
We've had Lucy for nine years. We adopted her when she was a kitten and she immediately captured our hearts. I was very hesitant to getting a cat. I grew up with cats and knew all about their moods and personalities. The cats I grew up with mostly liked my mom. They were always her babies. I didn't like the idea of cleaning litter boxes and I knew cats could be a bit of a handful scratching on things or getting into other mischief. That day at PetSmart, Brad was quite taken with this kitten and he had never had one before. So that day she came to our home. For the next 8 years we didn't have much trouble. She did do some of those things that cats do. She scratched things she wasn't supposed to scratch and tried to get into things she wasn't supposed to get. Periodically she would throw up on something or urinate outside her litter box. For the most part it was always something that was easily taken care of with medicine or behavior changes. She was the most affectionate cat. She loved to snuggle. Even when we brought our kids home she adapted to them quite well. She was always very loving and gentle with them. I think she was just glad there was one more person to give her attention. She really was the best cat we could have asked for. We always joked that we would never get another cat because there would never be one as good as Lucy.
Last summer, just before the birth of our third child, things started to take a turn. Urinating outside the litter box started to become frequent. We took her into the vet who did some initial testing and said that she did in fact have a problem. We gave her the recommended antibiotics which were not really cheap. That didn't work. It's hard to remember the exact time line of events but it all started to spiral after that. Over those next few months she did more tests including a trip to the U of I for an ultrasound. Each time our vet would say that he was learning more about her problems but didn't have an exact answer and would lead us to more testing. We tried antibiotics again for a longer period of time, we changed her diet and tried to include more water. That didn't work. We started to get tapped out on resources and the stress of having a cat urinating all over the carpet was really getting to us. Sensing our frustration and that our resources were running out, our vet suggested that it may be time to put her down. After all of that his next recommendation would have been to send her to another university for a cardiac ultrasound (she had been diagnosed with a heart murmur a few years back and he was thinking that an infection might be stemming from her heart). We made an appointment to have her put down but I felt very uncertain. I wanted to make sure we did everything we could for her. He told us she was probably in constant pain and we just didn't know it. At home she acted very normal. She was still sweet and playful. Brad was upset but ready to be done with it all. I couldn't go through with it. I sought out other opinions from people and we took her for a second opinion at the U of I. We didn't want to pay for all the testing to be done again though. I just wanted them to look at what was done and tell us what they thought. So we were confused when they said she was probably fine and to do a bunch of behavior changes. We talked with our vet again who said they were probably saying that because we didn't do the tests and they didn't have all the info. Ugh. We made another appointment to euthanize her. Again, I dragged my feet feeling like I just wasn't ready to give up. I sought out the opinion of a vet that I know. She looked at Lucy's files and gave a cheaper antibiotic alternative. We decided to give it a try. So for something like 6 or 8 more weeks we gave her this medicine hoping for the best. At the end of that we took her back to our vet to have her urine tested. We felt relieved when he said it came back clear and looked good! Success! We knew the next step would be trying to break the behavior that started with going outside the litter box. We cleaned all of the spots she used to go. I blocked off the area that she used frequently so she couldn't go back there. She just found new spots. We had our carpets professionally cleaned. They looked amazing after nine years of pets and children! Two days later, she went on them again. She liked to go outside during the day so I tried putting her out thinking it would help. She still went on the floor. Every time Brad cleaned the litter box he would tell me she wasn't using it to pee.
Then we went out of town for a weekend. We had someone coming to check on her and take care of her. Then we got back and as soon as we walked in our house smelled terrible. At that point I knew I couldn't do it anymore. We moved her to our porch where she lived for two weeks after that. She urinated all over the porch despite her litter box being out there. I felt like moving her to the porch brought some distance for us. I was angry and frustrated and didn't know what to do with her. Since we banished her to the porch she was getting way less attention and I felt guilty about that. Brad and I started talking about what to do next. We had been dealing with the stress of it for so long. The stress of having a cat ruining your home while you try to take care of three kids, one of them being an infant. The stress of loving that cat like she was family but not being able to fix this problem. The stress of spending thousands of dollars that we couldn't really afford to spend. We both knew we were done. We knew that we couldn't do any more trial and error treatments. No more diet changes, antibiotics or behavior medicine. We had to be done. It was time for the break up.
We were at a loss with what to do with her. We didn't feel like we could re-home her ourselves because we couldn't even fully understand her issues. We didn't want to make the decision to put her down ourselves either. So maybe it was the coward's way out but we took her to the Humane Society. On the phone they were very kind but when I took her in it was a horrible experience. I was fighting back the tears the whole way. Then fighting them back while I had to fill out paperwork. The workers there were all business. Unfeeling and uncaring. Fill this out, pay $25 and see you later. I didn't even get to say goodbye. They made sure we knew that they may not be able to adopt her out and may have to euthanize her. We told them we understood but we felt like if she had any chance at all it was going to have to be through them. After that it was all out of my hands though. I cried all the way home. I locked myself in the bathroom so I could cry some more. The positive thing about it was that we could sell it to the kids that she was getting a new home. They were already sad about losing her so yes, I took this easy way out with them. I was told that I could call any time to check on her but I wasn't sure I wanted to. I looked up articles on the Internet to find support from anyone who had gone through a similar situation but only found that when anyone posted something like this all they received was hate.
So for the last two weeks I've been suffering in silence. I'm still grieving this loss. I finally broke down and called to check on her and was unsurprised to learn that they did euthanize her. They said it was because of her heart condition. If her inappropriate urination was a once in a while thing, I could have lived with that. This was every.single.day. Our hearts are broken but this relationship was no longer healthy. She couldn't live on the porch forever. That would not have worked in the winter. I couldn't continue to have her pee all over our carpets and on our things. This relationship was no longer healthy for any of us. It was not good for my kids. It was a strain in my marriage and our finances. I'm still grieving, I'm still emotional and I still miss my cat. That being said, I do not regret our decision. We made a difficult choice for our family. We love you, Lucy. Thanks for being the best cat we'll ever have.
Two weeks ago we broke off an unhealthy relationship. Two weeks ago we said goodbye to one of our four-legged babies, Lucy. Many people knew that we've been dealing with cat drama for quite sometime and two weeks ago we finally hit our breaking point.
We've had Lucy for nine years. We adopted her when she was a kitten and she immediately captured our hearts. I was very hesitant to getting a cat. I grew up with cats and knew all about their moods and personalities. The cats I grew up with mostly liked my mom. They were always her babies. I didn't like the idea of cleaning litter boxes and I knew cats could be a bit of a handful scratching on things or getting into other mischief. That day at PetSmart, Brad was quite taken with this kitten and he had never had one before. So that day she came to our home. For the next 8 years we didn't have much trouble. She did do some of those things that cats do. She scratched things she wasn't supposed to scratch and tried to get into things she wasn't supposed to get. Periodically she would throw up on something or urinate outside her litter box. For the most part it was always something that was easily taken care of with medicine or behavior changes. She was the most affectionate cat. She loved to snuggle. Even when we brought our kids home she adapted to them quite well. She was always very loving and gentle with them. I think she was just glad there was one more person to give her attention. She really was the best cat we could have asked for. We always joked that we would never get another cat because there would never be one as good as Lucy.
Last summer, just before the birth of our third child, things started to take a turn. Urinating outside the litter box started to become frequent. We took her into the vet who did some initial testing and said that she did in fact have a problem. We gave her the recommended antibiotics which were not really cheap. That didn't work. It's hard to remember the exact time line of events but it all started to spiral after that. Over those next few months she did more tests including a trip to the U of I for an ultrasound. Each time our vet would say that he was learning more about her problems but didn't have an exact answer and would lead us to more testing. We tried antibiotics again for a longer period of time, we changed her diet and tried to include more water. That didn't work. We started to get tapped out on resources and the stress of having a cat urinating all over the carpet was really getting to us. Sensing our frustration and that our resources were running out, our vet suggested that it may be time to put her down. After all of that his next recommendation would have been to send her to another university for a cardiac ultrasound (she had been diagnosed with a heart murmur a few years back and he was thinking that an infection might be stemming from her heart). We made an appointment to have her put down but I felt very uncertain. I wanted to make sure we did everything we could for her. He told us she was probably in constant pain and we just didn't know it. At home she acted very normal. She was still sweet and playful. Brad was upset but ready to be done with it all. I couldn't go through with it. I sought out other opinions from people and we took her for a second opinion at the U of I. We didn't want to pay for all the testing to be done again though. I just wanted them to look at what was done and tell us what they thought. So we were confused when they said she was probably fine and to do a bunch of behavior changes. We talked with our vet again who said they were probably saying that because we didn't do the tests and they didn't have all the info. Ugh. We made another appointment to euthanize her. Again, I dragged my feet feeling like I just wasn't ready to give up. I sought out the opinion of a vet that I know. She looked at Lucy's files and gave a cheaper antibiotic alternative. We decided to give it a try. So for something like 6 or 8 more weeks we gave her this medicine hoping for the best. At the end of that we took her back to our vet to have her urine tested. We felt relieved when he said it came back clear and looked good! Success! We knew the next step would be trying to break the behavior that started with going outside the litter box. We cleaned all of the spots she used to go. I blocked off the area that she used frequently so she couldn't go back there. She just found new spots. We had our carpets professionally cleaned. They looked amazing after nine years of pets and children! Two days later, she went on them again. She liked to go outside during the day so I tried putting her out thinking it would help. She still went on the floor. Every time Brad cleaned the litter box he would tell me she wasn't using it to pee.
Then we went out of town for a weekend. We had someone coming to check on her and take care of her. Then we got back and as soon as we walked in our house smelled terrible. At that point I knew I couldn't do it anymore. We moved her to our porch where she lived for two weeks after that. She urinated all over the porch despite her litter box being out there. I felt like moving her to the porch brought some distance for us. I was angry and frustrated and didn't know what to do with her. Since we banished her to the porch she was getting way less attention and I felt guilty about that. Brad and I started talking about what to do next. We had been dealing with the stress of it for so long. The stress of having a cat ruining your home while you try to take care of three kids, one of them being an infant. The stress of loving that cat like she was family but not being able to fix this problem. The stress of spending thousands of dollars that we couldn't really afford to spend. We both knew we were done. We knew that we couldn't do any more trial and error treatments. No more diet changes, antibiotics or behavior medicine. We had to be done. It was time for the break up.
We were at a loss with what to do with her. We didn't feel like we could re-home her ourselves because we couldn't even fully understand her issues. We didn't want to make the decision to put her down ourselves either. So maybe it was the coward's way out but we took her to the Humane Society. On the phone they were very kind but when I took her in it was a horrible experience. I was fighting back the tears the whole way. Then fighting them back while I had to fill out paperwork. The workers there were all business. Unfeeling and uncaring. Fill this out, pay $25 and see you later. I didn't even get to say goodbye. They made sure we knew that they may not be able to adopt her out and may have to euthanize her. We told them we understood but we felt like if she had any chance at all it was going to have to be through them. After that it was all out of my hands though. I cried all the way home. I locked myself in the bathroom so I could cry some more. The positive thing about it was that we could sell it to the kids that she was getting a new home. They were already sad about losing her so yes, I took this easy way out with them. I was told that I could call any time to check on her but I wasn't sure I wanted to. I looked up articles on the Internet to find support from anyone who had gone through a similar situation but only found that when anyone posted something like this all they received was hate.
So for the last two weeks I've been suffering in silence. I'm still grieving this loss. I finally broke down and called to check on her and was unsurprised to learn that they did euthanize her. They said it was because of her heart condition. If her inappropriate urination was a once in a while thing, I could have lived with that. This was every.single.day. Our hearts are broken but this relationship was no longer healthy. She couldn't live on the porch forever. That would not have worked in the winter. I couldn't continue to have her pee all over our carpets and on our things. This relationship was no longer healthy for any of us. It was not good for my kids. It was a strain in my marriage and our finances. I'm still grieving, I'm still emotional and I still miss my cat. That being said, I do not regret our decision. We made a difficult choice for our family. We love you, Lucy. Thanks for being the best cat we'll ever have.
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