I guess it has been a while since my last post. I often think about things I want to say but then never find the time to sit down at my computer for more than a minute! It's definitely time to update!
Tonight we started another round of Financial Peace University. I always enjoy this class. It was where I first learned my love of budgets! I like the control that I have with a budget. I actually find it very freeing but then, who doesn't like control? We are pretty open people when it comes to finances. We don't claim to have all the answers or always follow the right steps. We do our best to live within our means and look at the long term goals. I sometimes get a little too caught up in making a budget, making a plan and obsessing over how to make things work in both the short term and long term. This year I really felt God challenging my to stop planning so much. It might sound crazy but with that He also showed me how much I don't trust him to provide. Yep, that's right. I don't trust him. I said it. But I'm learning to trust in him.
This semester we decided to sacrifice money for time. After some prayer, Brad and I felt God telling us to trust Him and so we decided that Brad would not work his second job and therefore we would lose about $800 or more each month. I've grown very attached to that money so now that we are without it I have felt my self starting to panic. With endless vet bills and a few things breaking here and there I was really starting to feel the pinch. I had a mini panic attack last week as I was preparing our March budget. My heart was pounding and I thought "I can't take much more of this." All of our bills were going to be paid. We would have food to eat. But there wasn't room for more without pulling from savings and there wouldn't be anything going back into savings as far as I could tell. After Brad and I talked it over I felt better about it. I could see that we were going to have to take it one month at a time. The next day I felt very positive about our future. I felt expectant that God would provide in ways we never thought. It was also the day I finally marched myself into the WIC office to get assistance. I knew we would qualify and I knew this would lessen our grocery expenses. I felt good about what I was doing for our family. After 2 hours, the process was over. I felt humbled and excited as I looked over all the things I wouldn't have to buy and thinking about how much grocery money I was saving! That wasn't all that God had in store for me that day though.
Later on, I went to pick up Micah from school. We live very close. I actually left a little earlier than usual that day. I was gone maybe 15 minutes total. As I fumbled with my keys to open the door I saw a yellow post-it note that read "CHECK MAILBOX". I had a heavy car seat in my hand and two little boys pushing their way past me to get inside with non-stop chatter but I laughed to myself as I opened the mailbox thinking "Maybe this will be one of those God stories where someone has left me some money!" Inside the mailbox was and envelope addressed to our family. A typed label with no return address. I casually picked it up and went inside. As I set the baby down I started to open it not really knowing what it was. Inside was a smaller envelope, a bank envelope. Inside the bank envelope I couldn't believe my eyes. CASH! The first bill I saw was $100. I counted on for a total of $1000! I laughed out loud! Micah said "what? what is it?". I had several things going on at that moment with the boys coming inside and unloading their coats and shoes and a baby who immediately wanted out of his car seat. I had to stop and go back into "mommy mode" but could barely contain myself.
It's interesting the feelings you have when something like this happens. First, you never think it will happen to you and then it does. There were even a little negative thoughts I had that I believe came from an enemy who wants to steal my joy. Thoughts like "have we been complaining too much?" "We must be acting really needy." "I don't deserve this. We are not in danger of losing our home or not being able to pay our bills." Once we came to terms with the blessing those thoughts were silenced. We knew it was a gift. I have no idea who from. I don't even think I want to know. I feel blessed. I feel empowered. More empowered to give and hopefully one day to give this type of generous amount to someone else. I feel more trust in God's provision. I have always known that He would provide. I have never doubted that we would eat or have a roof over our head but now I have more of an expectation that He will provide more than just that. I feel like He is preparing us for more. I feel my faith has increased. I feel hopeful. This is only the beginning of what God is doing and it is about much more than money.
Thank you to whoever decided to be so generous. Thank you for letting God lead you because I have no doubt that this was Him directing you. May the Lord pour out even more blessings over you.
Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. 2 Corinthians 9: 6-8
Tonight we started another round of Financial Peace University. I always enjoy this class. It was where I first learned my love of budgets! I like the control that I have with a budget. I actually find it very freeing but then, who doesn't like control? We are pretty open people when it comes to finances. We don't claim to have all the answers or always follow the right steps. We do our best to live within our means and look at the long term goals. I sometimes get a little too caught up in making a budget, making a plan and obsessing over how to make things work in both the short term and long term. This year I really felt God challenging my to stop planning so much. It might sound crazy but with that He also showed me how much I don't trust him to provide. Yep, that's right. I don't trust him. I said it. But I'm learning to trust in him.
This semester we decided to sacrifice money for time. After some prayer, Brad and I felt God telling us to trust Him and so we decided that Brad would not work his second job and therefore we would lose about $800 or more each month. I've grown very attached to that money so now that we are without it I have felt my self starting to panic. With endless vet bills and a few things breaking here and there I was really starting to feel the pinch. I had a mini panic attack last week as I was preparing our March budget. My heart was pounding and I thought "I can't take much more of this." All of our bills were going to be paid. We would have food to eat. But there wasn't room for more without pulling from savings and there wouldn't be anything going back into savings as far as I could tell. After Brad and I talked it over I felt better about it. I could see that we were going to have to take it one month at a time. The next day I felt very positive about our future. I felt expectant that God would provide in ways we never thought. It was also the day I finally marched myself into the WIC office to get assistance. I knew we would qualify and I knew this would lessen our grocery expenses. I felt good about what I was doing for our family. After 2 hours, the process was over. I felt humbled and excited as I looked over all the things I wouldn't have to buy and thinking about how much grocery money I was saving! That wasn't all that God had in store for me that day though.
Later on, I went to pick up Micah from school. We live very close. I actually left a little earlier than usual that day. I was gone maybe 15 minutes total. As I fumbled with my keys to open the door I saw a yellow post-it note that read "CHECK MAILBOX". I had a heavy car seat in my hand and two little boys pushing their way past me to get inside with non-stop chatter but I laughed to myself as I opened the mailbox thinking "Maybe this will be one of those God stories where someone has left me some money!" Inside the mailbox was and envelope addressed to our family. A typed label with no return address. I casually picked it up and went inside. As I set the baby down I started to open it not really knowing what it was. Inside was a smaller envelope, a bank envelope. Inside the bank envelope I couldn't believe my eyes. CASH! The first bill I saw was $100. I counted on for a total of $1000! I laughed out loud! Micah said "what? what is it?". I had several things going on at that moment with the boys coming inside and unloading their coats and shoes and a baby who immediately wanted out of his car seat. I had to stop and go back into "mommy mode" but could barely contain myself.
It's interesting the feelings you have when something like this happens. First, you never think it will happen to you and then it does. There were even a little negative thoughts I had that I believe came from an enemy who wants to steal my joy. Thoughts like "have we been complaining too much?" "We must be acting really needy." "I don't deserve this. We are not in danger of losing our home or not being able to pay our bills." Once we came to terms with the blessing those thoughts were silenced. We knew it was a gift. I have no idea who from. I don't even think I want to know. I feel blessed. I feel empowered. More empowered to give and hopefully one day to give this type of generous amount to someone else. I feel more trust in God's provision. I have always known that He would provide. I have never doubted that we would eat or have a roof over our head but now I have more of an expectation that He will provide more than just that. I feel like He is preparing us for more. I feel my faith has increased. I feel hopeful. This is only the beginning of what God is doing and it is about much more than money.
Thank you to whoever decided to be so generous. Thank you for letting God lead you because I have no doubt that this was Him directing you. May the Lord pour out even more blessings over you.
Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. 2 Corinthians 9: 6-8
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